The Diary of Jizana M'Rell: Entry # 8 [RPG]

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Kessidus is dead, Carn showed more backbone than I anticipated, and Sian hates me now.

The Sith came back, and succeeded in corrupting Wimrick.  I saw it all through the Force--they hacked Kessidus literally to pieces.  Prann and Ayden were lucky to escape with their lives.  We're on our way to Coruscant now, having destroyed one of the Sith bases.  Carn seems sure that war is coming, but it could mean something else.  Undoubtedly this was what Doneeta was in a hurry to tell the other Jedi when I saw him arrive on Ossus those many weeks ago . . .

I offered Carn a bargain--if he took me as his apprentice, I wouldn't tell the galaxy about the Sarama and his role in it.  I'm not sure what made him refuse.  Was his loyalty to Master Bes that strong?  Surely she would have understood that I had placed him in an impossible position and wouldn't hold it against him.  Or was the thought of taking me as an apprentice so truly horrible and repugnant that he was willing to risk the lives of the Sarama, who he spent 20 years trying to protect, and the possible fall of the Republic just to keep me from becoming a Jedi?  And the sheer gall of them to cut me from the Academy because of the "dark side" when Wimrick was a Sith agent all along!

But regardless, Carn had his way, and now the galaxy knows everything.  I received a letter from the Republic Chancellor.  They want me to go on the lecture circuit, but I won't leave Sian.  In the long run, despite possibly harmful short-term effects, what I did will turn out to be the best--already the Republic is investigating and attempting to make sure what happened to the Sarama will never happen again.

Sian doesn't understand why I did it, and how can I explain it to her when I don't know myself?  She wouldn't even listen to me when I asked her to go to Ossus.  Doesn't she understand the Sith at all?!!  I understand them all too well after having read their little "Guide to Pain."  I will keep her safe though, no matter what.  I may be a pacifist, but when it comes to Sian, I will do whatever it takes.

Still, intergalactic war, revolution.  I am now truly alone.  I must confess that events have developed in a direction I had not anticipated.  But I know what must be done, and I will set things right.

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