Wednesday, June 11, 2014

The Diary of Jizana M'rell: Entry # 1 [RPG]


RUN TIME: 17384571


Okay, this is plain stupid.  I'm sitting here talking to an inanimate object.  But then again, it's not like I have anyone else to talk to.  So . . .

Well I guess what I want to talk about is--it all started I mean, just a few days ago.  We were aboard the Triberry, on our way to link up with a transport to take me to the Jedi Academy on Ossus.  I can't say I was terribly excited about going there--but then again, almost anything seemed better than staring at the same four walls I'd been staring at for seventeen years.  I was even more bored because Sian and her family were off-ship visiting relatives.

Anyway, one evening I woke up in the middle of the night in a state of sheer panic!  I had this paranoid fear that something bad was going to happen, and I had this gruesome image in my mind of Mom and Dad, screaming in terror, their faces all extended and bodies bursting open.  So I leapt out of bed and stepped out into the corridor and ran toward the bridge.

I turned a corner, and ran right into some thug with a rifle!  I don't know what came over me, I guess I just freaked out with everything that was going on because I used The Way to knock him down and out.  For some reason I decided to pick up the rifle--I don't know what I was thinking though--I'd never even seen one, except on a datapad, and I sure as hell didn't know how to use one.

The electrolift doors open and I see my parents and the Lativshas' standing with their backs to the control console, while another one of the hijackers, in some kind of battle-armor, is holding them at gunpoint, and it looked like he was about to pull the trigger on them.

Now I never thought all of this talk about Peace and Harmony had gotten to me--it just didn't seem to matter much, when all I ever did was take lessons from a computer.  But I realized in this moment just how much the Ta'Tathrian philosophy had embedded itself in me.  It hesitated there, not knowing whether I should fire the rifle to save my parents, or just drop it and give myself up.  Of course, I knew which they would have wanted me to do.

Suddenly that same image filled my mind again--Mom and Dad, screaming in agony.  I just couldn't let it happen!  So I raised the rifle and fired it at the hijacker.

I'm not exactly sure what happened next.  It's all kind of a blur.  I know that the shot I fired went wide of the hijacker and hit the viewscreen instead.  There was a loud explosion, and suddenly a huge hole in the front of the transport and a sucking sound as all the air rushed out.

Of course, the emergency forcefields kicked in and sealed the breach, or I wouldn't be here talking to you, you stupid piece of data-refuse.  But the fields didn't come up fast enough, and the last thing I see before I black out is my parents being sucked out into space, screaming in agony and terror.

So what does it all mean?  Does it mean, as my parents would say, that violence is always the wrong choice?  Or does it mean that I should have learned how to master and control the violence so that I could have used it better?  And why the hell am I cursed with these visions, if I can't do anything to change them?

I need a droid instead of a recording rod . . . at least they can make sympathetic-sounding beeping.


RUN TIME 18847382


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