Pathfinder Module: "We Be Goblins!" [RPG]

NO SPOILERS

We Be Goblins! was Paizo's Free RPG Day offering in 2011, and it has solidified as one of the most beloved Pathfinder adventures ever (the PDF is available for a free download here).  The premise is all in the title: the PCs are goblins, and in Pathfinder, goblins are fire-loving, dog-hating, baby-eating little psychopaths of illiteracy and idiocy.  In short, they're a blast to play once in a while to let off a little steam and just go crazy with the role-playing.  This adventure, which can be finished in one session, is a perfect introduction to the goblins of Golarion and is a blast to play.  The last section proved surprisingly hard when I played it, and my group TPK'd--but that's okay, as we had a lot of fun in the process.  The module comes with four pre-generated goblin characters, each of whom is described well with little quirks and traits.  If you're looking for something different, or maybe want to show skeptical non-gamers just how much fun RPGs can be, We Be Goblins! is a great choice.

SPOILERS

We Be Goblins! casts the PCs as members of the Licktoad tribe in Brinestump Marsh (near Sandpoint, the starting point for multiple adventure paths).  After a member of the tribe is kicked out for the horrible crime of reading (books steal your soul!), a treasure map is found among the possessions left behind.  In the hopes that the map will lead to more of the strange fireworks that the outcast goblin also left behind, the chief of the Licktoad designates four champions to see if "X" really does mark the spot.  But giant spiders, evil dogs and horses, and a cannibal witch stand in the way; and even before they leave on the adventure, the PCs need to prove their mettle through a variety of tribal contests!  I'll quickly go through the various elements in turn.

Chief Gutwad, a goblin so obese he needs help getting in and out of his chair, starts the scenario by summoning the PCs and telling them about the map and their mission.  The way Gutwad and his instructions are portrayed is hilarious, and should instantly put the players in the right frame of mind for what follows.  And what follows is a series of dares (little mini-games) that PCs can volunteer to take part in, like "Eat a Bag of Bull Slugs Real Quick" and "Hide or Get Clubbed."  The mechanics for playing the game are fast and fun, with losing sometimes carrying real consequences (like a loss of hit points or the sickened condition) and winning earning real rewards (minor magic items that could come in very handy on the quest that follows).  It's a silly, fun way to see how goblin tribes pass the time, and if the players and GM get into the spirit of the adventure, it's a memorable time.

The next day, while travelling through the swamp and following the map, the PCs drift into the den of the hilariously-named "Lotslegs Eat Goblin Babies Many", a giant spider.  Four goblins up against a giant spider is a fair fight, and my only regret is that my group didn't think about searching the spider's den for treasure, as there's enough there that may have turned the tide in our favour at the end.  The rest of the journey to the "X" on the map is uneventful, apart from whatever hijinks your PCs get up to amongst themselves (PvP is a definite possibility here!).

The "X" turns out to be an old shipwreck.  The module was designed as a sort-of prequel to the Jade Regent adventure path, which was released the same month, so there's a plot connection between it and some of the treasure that can be found within.  Anyway, the shipwreck is the home of Vorka, the infamous cannibal-witch, who is a goblin so evil and depraved that she keeps dogs and horses!  I found the layout of the ship confusing as a player because it's difficult to represent multiple vertical decks on a flat mat; apart from that problem, it's a solid site for combat.  The problem my group ran into, and the reason we TPK'd, is that there are (depending on how you count) four to five encounters packed into the shipwreck location, but most of them are mobile threats and the battle can quickly flow into PCs facing multiple combats at the same time.  Since the PCs are playing goblins (not exactly the most tactically-savvy of creatures), they're likely to get in way over their heads.  And although I had a lot of fun with the module, I do think the threats it presents aren't really fair: a mean dog named Cuddles, for example, has 17 hit points, but the PCs' damage output with their dogslicers range from 1d4-1 to 1d4+1.  If Cuddles were a boss battle, that would work well, but the PCs still have a horse, two other dogs, a trap, Vorka herself (a level 3 druid), and Vorka's giant frog animal companion to deal with.  That's a lot for four Level 1 goblins!

Still, I had fun and I can see why the module was such a hit and led to four (!) sequels.  I wouldn't want to play goblin adventurers all the time, but as a refreshing chance it worked well, and I'd definitely be up for the next one in the series.