Am I Blue? Coming Out From the Silence

FROM THE ARCHIVES (Columns)

Book Review: Marion Dane Bauer’s Am I Blue?: Coming Out From the Silence

Jeremy Patrick jhaeman@hotmail.com

Stepping Out v. 1, n. 1 (April 15, 2000)

Welcome to the first edition of "Under the Covers," the new book review column in Stepping Out! I’m going to cover an eclectic mix of books that will hopefully appeal to the variety of communities within the GLBT community. Unlike standard book review columns, I won’t cover only brand new hardbacks from major publishers. Instead, I’m going to pick out and discuss some of the classic books that ever queer should have (such as Rubyfruit Jungle or Half a Life’s Story) and some of the little known gems that have gotten lost among the millions of books published each year.

The first book I’m going to discuss falls into this latter category. Am I Blue?: Coming Out From the Silence, edited by Marion Dane Bauer (HarperTrophy, 1995), is a collection of short fiction written for a young adult audience.

The book’s title comes from the first story presented, "Am I Blue?" by Bruce Coville. It deals with a questioning teen named Vincent who is picked on mercilessly by a bully for being perceived as gay. In true fantasy style, Victor’s "Fairy Godfather" appears in a hilarious scene and gives the boy some advice on growing up and three wishes.

After blowing the first wish foolishly, Victor realizes that so much of the prejudice towards queers comes from their invisibility. Victor uses his second wish to turn everyone in the world who is queer blue for 24 hours, with the shade of blue representing how close they are to being homosexual. With Senators and ministers the world over turning blue, as well as everyday "normal" people, society can’t help but wake up and realize the sheer inanity of prejudice. In a fitting end, the boy tries to use his last wish to turn his bully blue too, only to find out that his tormentor already is a dark blue! As is often the case, some of our worst oppressors have repressed their own homosexuality to such a degree that they act out towards others who are more open about themselves.

Another of my favorite stories is Parent’s Night by Nancy Garden. Parent’s Night details the struggles a young gay couple goes through in trying to support a gay-straight-bisexual alliance in their high school. It’s a touching and striking example of the awesome bravery these kids have in facing up to the tremendous pressures they face from administrators and other students. It’s also relevant when we remember the problems our own area youth face in their schools, a prime example being Millard’s recent refusal to add sexual orientation to the school’s nondiscrimination policy.

Other stories in Am I Blue? include a young lesbian’s attempt to come out to her elderly grandmother, a girl who falls madly in love with her best friend only to find out he’s gay, and a first encounter at an all girl’s school. There are a couple of weak stories (an odd supernatural tale by Jane Yolen and a misplaced adventure story by William Sleator) but overall the quality of the collection is solid.

A book like Am I Blue? is wonderful, because for just a brief moment it succeeds in stripping away the cynicism and pessimism of adulthood and makes us remember what it was like to be a kid—the wonder, the hope, and the idealistic first love that we now fear can never be replaced. Am I Blue? is one of those books that should be in every middle- and high- school in the country, and read by every adult who needs reminded that being queer is not defined by sex, but by friendship and love.