The Kid

FROM THE ARCHIVES (Stepping Out book reviews)

Book Review: Dan Savage’s The Kid

Jeremy Patrick jhaeman@hotmail.com

Stepping Out v. 1, n. 4, July, 2000

Dan Savage is one of those guys it’s easy to have mixed feelings about. A nationally syndicated columnist, Savage is known for dishing out witty and usually sound advice for gay and straight readers alike. At times, however, Savage comes off small-minded and mean-spirited, a lavender version of Dr. Laura—his recent "advice" that all bisexual men are only interested in using gay men for sex and would eventually drop them for women is one example.

However, Savage’s new book, The Kid (Plume, 2000; $12.95 paperback), does not evoke mixed feelings: it is an all around great book, filled with his trademark humor and only occasional doses of his inane prejudices.

The Kid recounts Savage’s and his boyfriend’s quest to adopt a child. Unlike traditional "closed" adoptions (where all records of the birth mother are sealed), Savage goes for an "open adoption," where the birth mother retains some contact with the child, such as receiving pictures, letters, and bimonthly visits.

Savage’s account begins with his and his boyfriend’s acceptance into an adoption program and being forced to sit through a two-day seminar designed for heterosexual couples on why infertility is not the end of the world. It then details the messy process of adoption, which includes reams of paperwork, home surveys, interviews, background checks, and finally, the anxious waiting for the phone to ring and tell you that a mother has chosen you to adopt her child.

Savage and his boyfriend are picked, much sooner than they expected, by a "gutter punk" named Melissa. After some anxious negotiating, the rest of the book details the somewhat anticlimactic process of her having the baby and the couple bringing him home.

In this book, Savage’s greatest strength is his frankness. He admits that one of the main reasons he wanted to adopt a kid was because he had just gotten a book deal and needed something to write about; he details how he met his boyfriend in a gay bar; and he tells how they keep domination equipment in the basement—all fodder for the "family values" types, but Savage doesn’t shirk from being honest.

The Kid is punctuated with funny digressions about everything from gays in the military to why uncircumcised penises taste funny. Much of the book is laugh-out-loud funny, even if you feel somewhat guilty about chuckling over the subject matter. For example, in one passage on gay marriage, Savage writes: "For me, my discomfort with gay weddings was articulated by a close friend, who observed that gay people getting married is like retarded people getting together to give each other PhDs. It doesn’t make them smarter, and it doesn’t make us married."

Occasionally touching and frequently funny, The Kid is a very readable book, one of those few you can sit down on the couch to read a few pages and realize you’ve read the whole thing. Whether you want kids or not, Savage’s story of adoption is definitely worth reading.