Last Issue Special # 9: M.A.R.S. Patrol: Total War

SERIES: M.A.R.S. Patrol: Total War

DATE: 1969

THOSE RESPONSIBLE: Unknown (no credits)

CATEGORY: SILENCE

The Earth has been invaded by bald, human-looking "aliens" wearing Elizabethan-era neck ruffles and puffy pantaloons! Who will save us? Only the M.A.R.S. Patrol("Marine Attack Rescue Service")! As the aliens themselves put it, "Our armament is superior, but our principal enemies, the Americans, have one weapon we cannot match . . . ingenuity and coolness under fire!" After ten issues of alien-bustin' action, will the vaunted Russ, Joe, Ken, and the Skipper manage to defeat the "Baldies" once and for all? Unfortunately, we'll never know as we're left on the final page watching our heroes fly off to stop another alien attack, as a bystander sagely opines "That fighting quartet thrives on action."

And man, those great painted Gold Key covers sure were false advertising given the mediocre artwork inside . . .